A Tale About Llamas, Horror Movies, Star-Patterned Pajamas, And OTP
by Deathly.Maker
Summary: PHAN STUFF GUYZZ. And maybe some Kickthestickz too. Dan and Phil are supposed to watch a horror movie in order to "celebrate" Halloween, but who knows what might happen since maybe the said movie is not exactly what they were looking for... Or is it, muahahaha. FLUFF, BUT IN AN IRONICAL WAY.


Dan pressed the play button on the remote control, allowing the DVD he had previously inserted in the DVD player to start. Phil was squirming on the couch, uncomfortable.

He couldn't imagine celebrating Halloween without watching a horror movie, but that did not prevent him from being terrified at the mere thought of what awaited him. Or rather what awaited THEM, given that this kind of film also terrorized his roommate. But unlike him, Dan was one of those people who just love to be scared whilst watching a good horror movie, even if that meant not sleeping for three nights in a row in 99% of the cases.

Phil wasn't very fond of this kind of feeling, far from it. However, each celebration of the year was sacred to him, as well as the rituals that accompanied them. And of course, the horror movie was one of those rituals.

Dan left his crouching pose-to-put-a-DVD-that-by-the-way-is-one-of-the-less-sexy-things-in-the-whole-modafuckin-universe and settled near his friend on the couch.

- You ready Phil ?

- I guess so…

- Well if it's too scary you can grab any part of my body to…

Dan widened his eyes.

- Oh god, that sounded SO WRONG. You can grab my arm okay? My arm will be just… Fine.

Phil let out a little laugh that ended as usual with the tip of his tongue pointing between his white teeth.

- It's okay, I'm actually very brave.

- Sorry if I don't believe you, said Dan in an ironical tone.

The film began, revealing a quite catchy scenario that against all odds managed to please Phil as well as Dan. However, after a while this same scenario began to make the two young men perplex, and they realized (rather late in fact) that the protagonist of this fanciful story was actually in a sexual kind of relationship with the second main character.

I guess it is now necessary to specify that they both were men.

An aura of embarrassment set up in the living room of the London flat, as the two young YouTubers tried to focus on the plot, each one doing his best not to appear too tense at the sight of the hints and peculiar situations that arose in their eyes.

And finally, after one hour, twenty-three minutes and twelve seconds, came the scene both had begun to fear ever since they had understood what could occur whenever the two manly characters were alone in a room. I am indeed talking about the sex scene.

Dan felt his facial muscles contract when he saw the actors starting to kiss languidly.

Shit.

Who was the dick-head that had recommended them this movie already?

He slightly turned to Phil, and saw that the eyes of the latter were doing their best to avoid the screen ; the amazing guy from YouTube was also diligently and without realizing it fiddling the edges of his shirt, clearly ill-at-ease.

Several thoughts accumulated pretty quickly in Dan's mind. The most relevant included this best friend's adorableness and the heady desire to put into practice what the movie was mischievously suggesting. As the scene reached its climax on the screen, the brunette boy let his body drop like a dead weight on his roommate's shoulder.

- …Dan ? What are y-...

Danisnotonfire offered his friend his dumbest smile, and hugged the dark-haired boy's waist with a lascivious gesture.

- These Halloween cocktails were sooooo great, Phil…

His voice was deliberately dragging and filled with desire. Phil smiled slightly and asked:

- Dan, are you drunk?

The other boy nodded vigorously whilst maintaining his smile.

- Seriously, you just drank two of them...

Dan continued to smile foolishly. He wasn't drunk, at least not completely. Something was bumping against the walls of his conscience, trying to make him understand that what he was doing wasn't good.

He let slip a few seconds, motionless. Then he suddenly tightened his grip around his roommate's waist and straightened himself: he started rubbing his nose against the other's pale cheek, murmuring:

- Really… They were great…

- D-dan…

He felt Phil's hands arise on his, in a vain and very unconvincing attempt to get rid of this unexpected hug. The butterflies he had been feeling for a few minutes in his abdomen literally got multiplied by ten thousand, and a split second later his lips were running on his friend's skin.

- What-… Dan… Don't…

Insensitive to Phil's (weak) protests, Dan continued to sprinkle his right cheek and his neck with kisses and very light licks. A groan coming from his victim made him stop, and he wondered for a moment if he was really allowed to do that kind of stuff to his best friend.

Then he decided he didn't care.

What he felt for Phil had never seemed very clear, to the point he had sometimes wondered if all those "phangirls" over there hadn't put their finger on something. If he was gay, however, he had quite a hard time admitting it: the term seemed derogatory and demeaning after all these years during which almost every boy of his age would talk about that as if it were a pathogenic virus.

University had proposed him this same way of thinking, although more attenuated, more subtle. A subtlety that was considered more mature, but that didn't detract from the cruelty lurking beneath the whispers, the looks, the pointing fingers. He had witnessed a lot of situations involving people considered to be homosexual, and had been struck by the vehemence of the words that were exchanged when it came to a boy.

Dan was pervaded with these images and the mere thought that this could happen to him terrorized him. There was a thing about Dan that his devoted Danosaurs were aware of because of the video he had done about it: he cared too much about other people's feelings.

But it was also true that Dan was the kind of person that held alcohol pretty bad, and at the moment where this story unfolds he really, REALLY wanted to touch Phil.

Besides, the latter's voice was saying something, but Daniel Howell's ears seemed as if they were stuffed with cotton : more and more sensitive to the milligrams of alcohol he had in his blood, he did the only thing that came to his mind in order to shut his friend up. He kissed him.

He felt Phil's lips moving against his, maybe he was freaking out. But now that he had started kissing him he couldn't just backtrack. He had absolutely no excuses for his sudden behavior. He tried imagining himself abruptly stopping the kiss and saying "Alright dude, that's all for today, I was just checking your breath."

And it wasn't that much of a deal, he had already kissed Phil during some parties.

Well, it's true that there was a subtle difference compared to the other times, and the difference was that right now, he was fucking turned on. He kept on kissing the dark-haired boy greedily, letting himself being more and more enfolded by a delicious feeling of lust.

After a time he noticed that Phil wasn't resisting anymore and backed his face to check the young man's condition. It took his eyes a few seconds to focus on his roommate's ones, that he found out were as lascivious as his.

Dan thought that he had never seen him like this. After an intense thinking, he realized that he, indeed, had never fucked his friend and that consequently he had never had the pleasure of seeing him lying on a couch, reddened, disheveled and panting.

- …'should've done dat before…

His voice sounded thick with sleep to his own ears. They were now one above the other on the said couch, Dan's hands placed on each side of Phil's head ; the movie was going on but none of them was paying attention. Giving freedom to their somatic impulses, they resumed the kiss where they had left it, their salivary exchanges getting more and more intense as the minutes passed. Phil was breathing jerkily and occasionally let out a little manly noise in order to point out how much he was enjoying himself. Whilst Dan was starting to think it would be good to skip to high gear, his friend wiggled on the couch and suddenly, the brunette felt the other's hot breath caressing his neck.

And now, let's all take a minute to remember how much Dan's neck is a sensitive spot.

...

Done? Okay, great, let's move on.

The nonflammable boy felt a sort of electric shock getting through his spine, and his impulses increased all of a sudden. He lowered his hands along Phil's torso, stroking his abdominal muscles through his T-shirt ; slowly, he let his fingers slip under the thin fabric, while the owner of the said T-shirt groaned softly.

He couldn't think anymore, the only things that were occupying his mind were Phil's quivering skin, his ajar lips, his plaintive voice. Dan lifted the blue T-shirt and undertook to cover his roommate's torso with kisses, trying to convey everything he felt for him through the interface of his lips. Once again a gasping breathing reached his ears, except this time it was his.

He felt the heat in his belly ostensibly increase, and broke away from Phil's torso in order to reach back to his face. There he laid his lips on his again and slipped his tongue inside the black-haired boy's mouth, who let out a satisfied groan that echoed in the youngest's throat. Eager to gather even the slightest reaction of Phil's body, Dan brought their bodies closer and while kissing started rubbing his thigh against the other's crotch. Increased groans ensued coming from both of them. Each sound they made was dripping with lust, and they couldn't help but love it as they tightened their grip on the other's clothes and deepened the kiss…

When suddenly, Dan straightened himself and said in a very serious tone :

- …I think I might be kinda tired.

And with those wise words Dan literally fell into Phil's arms, and just a few seconds later began snoring loudly. He was a man of his word.

.

**.**

.

Phil stood motionless for a few seconds, his big blue eyes fixed on his friend, now totally asleep.

What. The. Hell.

Daniel Howell had just kissed him and touched him in a sexual kind of way. But that wasn't his point.

All he could see now was a body ungracefully slumped in his arms, from which were coming heavy breathing noises. Only Dan could fall asleep in the middle of some hot, sexy, phantastic action. Phil's head was spinning. That's right, he wasn't puzzled about what had just happened. He was much more concerned about WHY THE HECK Dan had stopped.

For a moment he took into account the idea of hitting the brunette. Just in order to do something. But of course he didn't. He would never hit Dan, nor anyone else if that matters. He remembered that time when he had to smash a bottle on his head for a slow-mo video and how sorry he was feeling during the whole thing. It simply wasn't in his nature. On the contrary, Dan seemed to really enjoy maltreating him, especially when they were playing video games. He had also seemed to enjoy smashing a bottle against his mate's head.

The black-haired boy sighed and stood up to seek a blanket. If he hadn't been Phil he would have said fuck.

.

**.**

.

Dan woke up with the sweet sound of an ambulance siren, the fifth within 20 minutes. A new day was starting in the quiet city of London. It took him a little time to understand he was into his flat, on the couch, uncomfortably positioned and coated with a soft blanket that had kept him warm during the whole night. A headache greeted him lovingly as he tried to get up in order to go get some breakfast. He wasn't very hungry, but forced himself to eat some cereals with a bit of milk and feared to regret it as he felt his stomach growl.

Fortunately his guts held up pretty well, he wouldn't have to run to the toilets in order to throw up at ease. He cast a glance at the clock near the fridge, and saw to his surprise that it was only 10 am. His brain (that he had until now kept idle) slowly began to awaken to the pleasure of reflection: memories of the day before outcropped gradually, and the more they outcropped, the more Dan felt the desire to sink into the ground. When a flash of a moaning Phil reminded him of what had happened he left his stool and began to pace the room nervously. He couldn't believe he had jumped on his friend like that. He much probably looked like an animal in heat. His eyes headed back to the clock : Phil was very likely still sleeping. Danisnotonfire stopped walking around and tried to remember the end of the evening before, noting after a while that he wasn't able to.

Did he and Phil... NOPE. NO FUCKING WAY. He would've remembered it. Or at least his body would have.

What would a normal person do in this kind of situation? Mmh, wrong question. Normal people didn't set up plans in order to fuck their best friend. In the few phanfics he had read for the needs of his video about shipping, at this point of the story whether he or Phil would leave the flat running like crazy. And then would usually come back to declare his love properly.

...But he didn't want to declare his love to Phil.

He paused for a moment. The twisted feelings he had always felt for his friend mingled with memories of what they had done the previous evening, creating a great amalgam of what he used to ironically call "feels".

It was kinda unpleasant.

In the end he opted for the simplest solution: act as if nothing had happened. He grabbed his laptop, went to settle on the couch he had left a few minutes earlier and began checking twitter, tumblr and even (ohmygawd) facebook. He had just started editing his last video when he heard Phil's bedroom's door opening and the latter's steps crawling out of the room. Dan took a slight breath and raised his head, detaching himself from his editing software and trying to appear as normal as possible. But in his heart he could feel something was wrong. If he was now struggling to behave normally, it was because he was afraid that something could show through his behavior. Something different from mere friendship.

The talks he had always heard about gay people came back to his memory. He knew Phil wasn't the kind of person to denigrate someone because of this. In fact he didn't have anything against gays generally speaking. But how would he react if suddenly his roommate and best friend told him he was bi?

The black-haired boy eventually appeared, his fringe tousled and wearing a star-patterned PJ with little spaceships on it. Dan smiled to him, and started making a mental countdown, waiting for the moment where his friend would swing a chair at his face or even worse, a Dehlia Smith's cookbook. He waited, enjoying every second as if it was the last he had to live on this Earth. However after a while he was forced to see his stay on the planet didn't seem threatened, and he ventured to open his eyes.

Phil was sitting at the kitchen counter and was taking his breakfast, absolutely unconcerned. Dan thanked the God of the Internet (the only one he actually believed in) to have spared him, and began singing the llama song, as he continued his editing with a sort of relief.

- Did you sleep well ?

Phil's voice brought him back to reality.

- Uh, actually…

He coughed in order to clear his throat.

- …Yeah, it was great. I didn't know sleeping on a couch could be that comfortable.

Phil dipped a biscuit in a cup of milk.

- I didn't know either.

He was smiling, Dan could tell even without looking at him. Was it a good sign?

- You look happy today.

The black-haired boy stood up and began washing his cup.

- Yeah, I can tell today is going to be a cool day!

His childish voice made his roommate who was still sprawled on the sofa laugh.

- I have the feeling…

- That tonight's gonna be a good night! exclaimed Dan whilst sketching a sexy dance. Phil gave him a quick peek, enough to send an electric shock in the youngest's spine.

Oops.

Meanwhile, AmazingPhil was finishing his sentence:

- …Nope. That today only good things are gonna happen.

Dan smiled, but inwardly he was dying to ask him what he had thought of the day before, what he thought of him in general, and where he had bought his pajama cause it was really freaking cool. Even if at this moment the pajama thing was probably less important than the rest.

- You mind if I watch some tv? asked Phil whilst sitting next to him on the couch. The brunette felt his own breath change. He closed his laptop and put it a little further.

- S-sure.

FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKK he had just stuttered. He had to busy himself so that he wouldn't think about Phil's body. He grabbed his wallet on the coffee table and began inspecting its content as if it were the most entertaining thing in the world. He absolutely shouldn't think about Phil. About his hands, his lips... His blue eyes, his smooth hair and... OH STOP DAT.

He went on playing with his wallet for a bit while watching at Dehlia Smith's show on the TV. She was talking about sticky and moist stuff. Just as usual. Dan felt he was getting back to normal. He eventually started talking like a healthy person again:

- Hey Phil, we should definitely try to make pancakes again!

- Oh yeah! shouted the eldest in response. It's been so long!

- …That's what your mum said last night!

- Daaaaaaan…

- Okay okay, sorry. Do you think we could do them now? asked Dan referring to the pancakes with a hopeful look.

- Uuh let me see… said Phil as he stood up to go check the kitchen.

He carefully examined the cupboards and the fridge, forced to see that they didn't contain much.

- Nope, the fridge and the cupboards are empty, he said.

He looked at Dan, who was starting pouting, and raised his shoulders with a smile of excuse. A silence settled, during which the former's blue eyes fixed themselves into the latter's brown ones. But be reassured, it wasn't in an awkward way. It was a lovely moment of pure friendship mingled with lots of sugary feelings.

However Dan decided that this lovely moment was lasting too much, so he stood up and started walking towards the front door.

- Well I'm gonna go buy some food then.

- Dan, I'm gay.

The so-called boy abruptly stopped, and the wallet crashed on the ground. Coins noisily bounced in all directions and rolled between his feet.

The sound echoed for a few seconds in the whole flat.

- Sorry I was kinda spacing out. Did you say something?

- I'm gay.

- You're what?

- I love men, Dan.

The latter let out a nervous giggle.

- Did all that phan stuff inspire you to make this joke?

But Phil was staring at him with a serious business look on his face, so he thought maybe he should stop acting like a jerk. He bent down to pick up the coins and asked:

- Are you serious?

A brief silence, then Phil's voice arose:

- Yes I am.

Dan put away the last survivor with its companions and took two steps in order to face Phil: he stuck his gaze into his best friend's, and asked in a low voice:

- …Deadly serious?

- Yeah.

- Well I hope it's not a joke. If it's the case sorry but it's a pretty bad one.

The leader of the Phillions returned the look, still in a serious business mode.

- Do I look like I'm joking right now?

"Oh heck no" thought Dan.

- You kinda look like Kristen Stewart in a gloomy day, he said, trying to sound as ironic as possible.

He relaxed when he saw Phil's mouth corners gently stretching.

- Ah, better now.

Was he sticking too close to him? Yeah, he probably was. Dan took a step back and ran a hand through his hair in order to fix his fringe.

- How long?

- What?

- Well, how long have you been aware of the fact that you're… That you're gay?

- Since middle of high school.

- And… Have you ever gone out with a guy?

- No.

- Hmnmhm, mumbled the brunette.

- What? asked Phil for the second time.

- …Why didn't you tell me that before?

- ...

Dan did his best to appear self-confident and stuff.

- Oh come on Phil, what are you so scared about?

- Well the one scared should be you, actually.

- Uh? Just who do you think I am? You know I wouldn't judge someone by basing myself on his sexual preferences.

Phil smiled, causing Dan's heart to melt miserably. Okay, the time had come. It was the perfect moment to say it. He just had to remember how to talk.

- Hm, Phil… I… You know…

- You're bi, right?

Dan's mouth and eyes opened in astonishment.

What… How…

…HE KNEW?

- YOU KNEW?

Oh sweet, another reaction to add to the Reasons why Dan's a fail's list. But Phil was used to him acting like a socially awkward human being, so he just laughed and nodded. Still, the brown-eyed boy stood there motionless, not exactly knowing what he was supposed to do or feel. Well of course he was stunned. But there was also something else, a sensation which was very similar to relief. Phil knew. He kept repeating that in his mind.

"Heknowsheknowsheknowsheknows ."

And yet he hadn't changed at all: he knew his best friend loved men, but he hadn't freaked out or thought about their friendship with a new perspective and stupid stuff like that. Phil had never judged him. If he had been a girl Dan would have cried. Hard. But he wasn't one (I can assure you) so he settled for swallowing his saliva and slapping his own cheeks to maintain his self control. Phil looked at him with a worried expression.

- You okay, Dan?

The youngest gave him a flash smile and stopped slapping himself.

- Yeah, thanks. How did you find out I was bi?

- Well… I kinda figured it out since you often ended up flirting and kissing with other guys during parties. The sexual predator that lives in you, isn't it?

Dan smiled, slightly embarassed.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

Mini silence.

- So yeah, now we're fixed. You're gay and I'm bi, dropped Dan.

- Yuupp.

- And even if we're best friends we had never talked about it.

- …Well at least I knew you were gay, said Phil with a teasing tone.

- Your mum's gay.

- Dan, that doesn't make any sense.

The brunette boy didn't realize what he was saying, he was way too busy thinking about Phil's sexiness and the proximity of their bodies. He wanted to kiss him SO BADLY. But it would have seemed a bit inappropriate to do it right now without any visible reason, so he held back, like a really manly man.

- Didn't you say you wanted to go buy some food?

Dan jumped in surprise.

- Uh? Oh, yeah sure. I was just about to go. Let me take my wallet. Yeah.

He somehow managed to reach the door without tripping, put a coat on, grabbed his phone and pulled the door handle. Phil followed him, looking the same as always. The youngest let out a little relieved sigh, glad to see his friend was behaving just normal; he opened the door and stepped out, when he heard Phil's voice call his name.

- …Yeah?

The black-haired boy was standing in the threshold, staring at him innocently and showing the expression his subscribers were in love with and which was also known as the reason for a lot of phangirls to not have ovaries anymore. He stretched his mouth into his usual crooked smile (Dan was lucky not having ovaries) and said with a childish voice:

- I liked that kiss, yesterday.

At that point, Dan's brain was gone. Or at least that's what he felt, noting he wasn't able to think properly. Flashes of the night before filled his mind, but they weren't related to any word or conscious thought. For him, they were only related to pleasure. The voice that came out of his throat didn't sound like his as he answered:

- Yeah, me too.

And he closed the door.

.

**.**

.

Phil stood motionless for a while, not sure if he had really heard what he thought he had heard.

" Yeah, me too. "

What did this mean? Did Dan say this just to end the discussion? Or did he really mean it? Was he joking? Was he serious? Was he even THINKING when he said that? Phil felt that this specific last question would always remain a mystery.

But anyway, it wasn't anything to worry about. And there were so many useful and interesting things to do whilst waiting for Dan to come b...

...

...

... OH WELL.

The jet black haired boy gave up on trying to act calmly and grabbed his phone. He wanted tot talk to Dan, NOW. And no one would stop him from doing so. Not even you, Sarah.

He started typing, a bit too vigorously maybe.

_-What r u going to buy?-_

That sounded good. He sent it, then got back to his room and laid on the bed, waiting for his friend to answer. Just like some silly teenage girl waiting for her crush to text her. He felt dumb. But after a minute or so his phone rang (the magnificent first notes of the splendid song Call Me Maybe, just in case he had forgotten how stupid this world could be) and he rushed to the screen.

_-Food I guess-_

What a beautiful and poetic answer, Dan, thank you. But before he could express his disappointment, the phone rang again.

_-Do u want something in particular?-_

Good question. He thought about it for a while, then quickly typed:

_-Candies, if u have enough money-_

This time the answer arrived almost immediately.

_-No prob bro-_

Okay, the conversation was going on well. Time to make it awkward.

_-Do u think we could do that again?-_

He wrote and sent this almost mechanically, and realized it sounded weird a bit too late. He blinked nervously twice, and started staring intensely at the screen. A few seconds passed before it lit up again, revealing Dan's deep thoughts on the subject.

_-What?-_

Phil just stared at his phone and didn't answer. He even thought about dropping the conversation, but after two or three minutes of silence his phone rang imperiously.

_-Don't ignore me, u twat-_

Phil sighed.

_-I was talking about yesterday-_

_-Why?-_

"Is he stupid or something?" thought Phil.

_BECAUSE I LOVE YOU_| the black-haired boy started typing. But man, these words looked so cheesy. He began slowly deleting and replacing them.

_BECAUSE I L_|

_B_|

_-Because u said u liked it-_

Call Me Maybe echoed in the bedroom.

_-U were the first to say so-_

_-So what?-_ retorted Phil.

_-Nothing. I'd like to feel your soft lips claim for more.-_

_-Ur mum is claiming for more.-_

_-Hahaha-_

Alright, enough with this, it was getting a bit dangerous. Phil put his phone in his pocket and went to take his laptop, then began watching silly videos on YouTube in order to come back to normal. It worked, and he eventually forgot about the awkwardness he had just been through only by watching videos about narwhals.

Ah, Internet.

Dan came back home half an hour later, carrying three enormous plastic bags.

- Help me put away all that stuff please!

- So much food!

- I don't want us to starve, okay?

They finished storing and without even consulting each other threw themselves on the couch.

- I'm soooooooo lazy today, said Phil.

- Yeah, let's stay like that til tomorrow.

They both looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds.

- ...That's weird, said Dan with a nervous giggle, noting that they were sitting really close one to another.

- Yeah.

Oddly, his friend's voice seemed even more low-pitched than usual. Dan was dying to lean and kiss him very ardently, but he didn't want to resemble to a guy in lack that'd have pounced on any human being in order to satisfy his sexual appetite. Anyhow he was about to get impatient when he felt his left hand being grasped by Phil's. The youngest winced slightly and felt a wave of pure pleasure getting through his body.

He placed the palm of his right hand on Phil's pale cheek and murmured:

- I was trying to hold back, but you're not helping.

A particularly moist and noisy kiss ensued, which left them breathless on the poor couch that was probably getting really tired of attending this kind of animal frolics. I can almost hear him shout: "DAN! PHIL! I THOUGHT WE KNEW EACH OTHER!" Or something like that. But let's put aside the couch's thoughts for now.

Dan's face was at present buried into Phil's neck, and the more time passed, the more he felt the need to fill the vacuum created by the silence. It was his duty to make this moment less embarrassing. He lifted himself a few centimeters in order to watch Phil in the eyes. Except that the blue irises riveted on his face, far from inspiring him, made him feel very stupid.

-Uhh...

He gathered all his mental strength to come up with a wise sentence.

- I thi...

But he never finished his sentence because at that precise moment Phil straightened up and pressed his lips against his.

Dan's breath quickened and his body tensed within a second or two, but soon relaxed when he felt how delicately the raven-haired boy was kissing him. Moans started invading the living room as they began caressing each other and kissing every inch of skin that wasn't covered with clothes. The temperature was soaring, and so was their libido.

When suddenly, the door swung open with a deafening noise, revealing two figures standing still in the frame. Our two companions jumped in unison at the sound and turned toward the entrance, as disheveled as two young girls reveling in their first lovemaking.

The two beings hadn't moved.

Dan put his bangs in place.

The two strangers were still not moving.

THE SUSPENSE WAS GETTING UNBEARABLE.

But when all hope seemed to be lost, one of two mysterious silhouettes decided to prove that he was actually alive and stepped into the light of the living room. His face appeared and, what an amazing turnaround my friends, it was crabstickz! Without giving further explanations, the young man quickened his pace and literally fell on the couch, mercilessly crushing his friends and screaming:

-LET ME JOIN YOU GUYS!

Seeing the astonishment on Dan and Phil's face, he added:

-FRIEEENNNDDS!

and undertook to make disturbing facial expressions that were supposed to show his love. Pj (very unexpected I know) also stepped forward, revealing his curly hair and mischievous smile. He went to the couch and grabbed Chris, who was still ranting stuff about joining them, and gave a smile of apology to the couple in front of him.

- We didn't mean to interrupt you, guys.

He winked and began to back toward the door while firmly holding Chris in his arms; right before slipping away he scribbled a note on a piece of paper that was lying around and waved it in the air so that Dan, placed above Phil on the couch, could read.

"GOOD JOB, MATE"

He smiled at the boy's stunned expression, then pulled Chris to him and went out, closing the door. For an instant Dan thought his friends' lips had collided, but the interstice was too thin and it had taken place too quickly for him to be sure about it.

- ...What was that?

The brunette looked down and answered in an amused tone:

- I think they're happy for us.

The raven-haired boy giggled.

-Chris is really fun

- Yeah uhm... About that... Do you think Chris and Pj are... Like...

The eldest looked up to him with questioning eyes.

- Well, like... More than... I mean, like us?

Phil was about to say something in response to this question, but he was stopped in his momentum by the sudden appearance of a gigantic rainbow that emerged from the laptop screen, immediately followed by a festooned llama that was riding the said rainbow. Whilst fluctuating over the couch, the magic llama said in a thundering voice:

- YOU'RE ALL HOMO, YOU FAGGOTS!

The two roommates' amazement was such that they remained paralyzed on the spot, and the long silence that set up was eventually broken by Chris' voice, who appeared at the entrance, shouting:

- NO HOMO!

Everybody ended up making out and being lovey-dovey for all eternity.

THE END.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...And the magic llama went back into the laptop, screaming stuff such as "OTP!"

THE (REAL) END.

* * *

.

**.**

.

OKAY SO FIRST IF YOU REALLY READ ALL OF THAT YOU'RE THE GREATEST PERSON ON EARTH. HERE IS A COOKIE.

I'm not used to this weird stuff authors seem to enjoy writing at the end of their fics but hey, let's give it a try. If you hated it let me know with a review. FOR I AM READY TO EMBRACE YOUR HATE. Or your love, if you loved it.

I am surely gonna sound snooty with that one but I AM FRENCH GUYZ and I don't speak English fluently. I don't care if you don't care, I am the author and I write whatever shit I want, k. YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Anywayyzzz, Phan is one of the best things ever and so is the Youtube community.

KEEP IT UP, FANGIRLS, FOR WE'RE GONNA RULE THE WORLD.


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